Crying at an instant noodle ad: is that normal in pregnancy? Hormones, emotions, and when to ask for help

You turn on the TV and there’s an instant noodle ad, a mom cooking Mama noodles for her child late at night, and the tears just pour out and won’t stop. Five minutes later you’re annoyed at your husband for chewing loudly, and then you sit there feeling guilty for snapping at him. If this is you right now, first of all: you’re not the only one.

Let’s talk about why emotions in pregnancy go up and down like a roller coaster, what really helps, and the point where you shouldn’t carry it alone and should tell your doctor or someone close to you.

Is it normal to cry easily and have mood swings when pregnant?

Quick Answer: Yes. Mood swings, crying easily and getting irritated easily are very common in pregnancy, especially in the first 3 months.

The UK charity Tommy’s explains that pregnancy hormones can affect your mood, especially in the first 3 months, and that having mixed feelings, from happy and excited to worried and secretly wondering whether you’re really ready, is completely normal in pregnancy.

Put simply, the happiest day ever and a day of crying in the bathroom can happen in the same week, and it doesn’t mean you don’t love your baby or aren’t ready to be a mother.

Why do emotions swing so much in pregnancy?

Quick Answer: Hormones are only part of it. Fatigue, morning sickness, too little sleep and stress about a life that’s changing all make you more emotionally fragile.

See which of these fit you:

• Hormones changing fast. In the first trimester your body is adjusting a lot.
• Morning sickness and fatigue. Nauseous all day and unable to eat, who could stay cheerful? (If you’re vomiting so much you can’t keep water down, read How bad does morning sickness have to be to see a doctor?)
• Too little sleep: getting up for the bathroom at night, feeling hot, sleeping uncomfortably
• Real-life worries: work, money, housing, your relationship with your partner or family
• Fear the pregnancy won’t last, especially if you’ve had a miscarriage or fertility problems before
• A changing body: weight, skin and shape that don’t feel like your own

In Thai families there’s another layer: well-meaning warnings from elders like “Don’t get angry, or the baby will come out bad-tempered.” Sometimes hearing this makes you feel even guiltier about your emotions. In reality, being angry or sad now and then is simply being human.

What’s ordinary mood swings, and what’s worth watching?

Quick Answer: Normal moods come and go, with good days alternating with bad ones. But if you feel sad or anxious most of the day for more than 2 weeks in a row, tell your doctor.

Common mood swings	Signs to tell your doctor about
Crying easily at times, then feeling better	Sad or empty most of the day, nearly every day
Getting irritated easily, but you can still laugh	Not wanting to do anything you used to enjoy
Worrying about the baby now and then	Worry you can’t switch off, panic, racing heart
Having some bad days	Feeling worthless or guilty all the time
Still able to take care of yourself	Not wanting to eat or go to antenatal appointments, withdrawing from everyone
	Symptoms lasting more than 2 weeks in a row

A leaflet from the Royal Free hospital, part of the NHS, uses a simple rule: if sadness or anxiety lasts more than two weeks, ask for help. It also notes that many mothers with postnatal depression started feeling low during pregnancy, so looking after your mind now is very important.

The World Health Organization (WHO) states that around 10% of pregnant women worldwide have a mental health problem, mostly depression, and the figure is higher in developing countries. So this is much more common than many people think. Read more in detail at Depression during pregnancy: signs people around you often miss

How can I help myself feel lighter?

Quick Answer: Take care of the basics first: eating, sleeping, moving your body, and putting your feelings into words with someone you trust.

• Sleep as much as you can. Nap during the day if your body needs it.
• Eat little and often during morning sickness. Going a long time on an empty stomach makes you both nauseous and irritable.
• Move gently: an evening walk when it’s not hot, or prenatal yoga if your doctor hasn’t said no.
• Tell the people close to you directly that your emotions are sensitive right now, and if you snap at them, you don’t mean it.
• Get information from reliable sources. Tommy’s suggests that having trustworthy information and support helps you feel more prepared. It also cuts down on scrolling through scary forum threads at 2 a.m.
• Let go of things that aren’t essential. The nursery doesn’t have to be finished this month, and you don’t have to reply to every message in the family LINE group.

How can family members help?

Quick Answer: Listen without judging, help in practical ways, and notice if things don’t get better.

This section is for dads or other family members to read. Things that help a lot:

• Listen first, don’t fix yet. Sometimes she just wants to cry, not get a solution.
• Avoid saying “It’s just hormones, it’ll pass.” Even if it’s partly true, it makes her feel unheard.
• Help with housework so she can sleep a little more. This is the most tangible help of all.
• Go to antenatal appointments together, and help tell the doctor if you notice she’s getting more and more low.

Tell your doctor or get help right away if…

Quick Answer: If you have thoughts of harming yourself or feel you can’t go on, get help immediately. Call the mental health hotline 1323 any time, 24 hours a day, or 1669 in an emergency.

Tell your antenatal doctor or nurse at your next appointment, or call ahead, if

• You feel sad, hopeless or anxious most of the day for more than 2 weeks
• Nothing brings you joy, not even things you used to love
• You can’t sleep even when you have the chance, or you sleep all day and are still exhausted
• You can’t eat, or don’t want to go to your antenatal appointments
• You have a past history of depression or anxiety disorder. The NHS recommends telling your maternity team from the start, and if you take medication, don’t stop it on your own. Talk to your doctor first.

Get help immediately if

• You have thoughts of harming yourself, or think you don’t want to live anymore
• You have thoughts of harming your unborn baby
• You feel you can’t control yourself

Call 1323, the Department of Mental Health hotline, any time, 24 hours a day, or 1669 in an emergency, and ask someone close to you to stay with you.

Telling your doctor about your emotions isn’t attention-seeking. The NHS says clearly to tell your care team honestly how you feel, because they’re there to help you.

If you’re about to enter the second trimester, read on at Pregnancy guide, trimester by trimester, or if poor sleep late in pregnancy is dragging your mood down, try Can’t sleep in late pregnancy: how to sleep a little longer

Crying at a noodle ad doesn’t mean you’re weak. Your mind is just working hard along with your body. Be kind to yourself, and don’t carry it all alone.